Have you ever felt as though your life is out of control an you are careening down a winding road with no brakes and your ability of stopping is beyond comprehension? That seems to be the road I am traveling. Many things are out of my control and I do not have the physical strength to mash my foot on the brakes and make it come to a screeching halt.
As I wind down the road of uncertainty my health goes with it just as fast. Struggling over obstacle after obstacle it seem as though I can not catch a break. I have been very fortunate not to experience physical pain until lately. The past several weeks I have developed excruciating pain in my abdomen, groin, and left leg. On top of that I feel like I am always drunk and lose my balance quite easily. While traveling back to NY for my mothers wedding I decided to see Dr. Latif my neurologist that diagnosed me with MS.
My wonderful sister took it again upon herself to get me to his office and sit thru the exam. As Dr Latif asks the question “so…Derek how are we doing today?” the details surface. Listening to everything going on he suggests that the Betaseron may not be working and we might want to think about changing to another medicine. However before we do he is putting me on a short term low-dose of chemotherapy medicine to lower my immune system even more to see if that will boost the effectiveness of the Betaseron interferon. He also prescribes another medicine that should help with my dizziness. I hope!!!!
For the abdomen and leg pain he recommends I see the doctor my sister works for, so the visit is scheduled later this week. We will see how it goes.
Not in the best of spirits I stop at the drugstore to pick up the new meds. Dropping off the prescriptions for yet more medication I peruse the local Walgreens. Killing time I pass by a cart full of discounted items. I notice that the majority of things are dented cans of various items. Oddly enough I pick a can of corned beef hash that was severely dented and could not put it down. I read the ingredients over and over and had flashbacks of making breakfast hashers with scrambled eggs, cheese and gravy over top.
As I stood there I could not help but remember the smell of it cooking and the joyous flavor at the first bite. I slowly placed the can back with the others as I thought how the dented can mirrored my life. All it took was one dent in my life to be tossed aside and put in the discount bin for all to pass. Read the ingredients of my life, I still have a lot of good stuff inside but because of a flaw I just don’t seem to be the same.
Look past the dents in life, take the time to read the ingredients, you will never know how good things are if you don’t.
Derek Lee
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I truly pray you do not blelieve that the people who CARE about you would ever throw you aside and just pass you by because of a "Dent in your can". We see the "good stuff" on the inside just as we did before.
ReplyDeleteThrough every painful experience and dark time in our lives, we eventually emerge from our circumstances learning something valuable or becoming a better person. It is also during these times that we realize who are real friends are and how much our loved ones mean to us.
We all need to continue to "read the ingredients", as you have said, and realize the goodness that lies within each person that God has put into our lives. They are there for a reason, whether it is for a lifetime or a season. Investing ourselves in others is never a waste and will never be forgotten.
Continue to walk forward Derek. Plow new ground and start anew. Diseases, loss of loved ones, loss of our financial security can be very painful......but the disruptions in our lives that seem to be disasters at the time, end by redirecting our lives in a meaningful way.
We're praying for you!!! Missy